Personals, Girl seeks Guy in Los Angeles
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Published 24 of September / 10:45hs
Province California
Locality Los Angeles
Advertiser: Katarina Phang, Katarina Phang

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What is the appeal of a harder path in life? Why do a lot of women choose this route when it comes to men?

I receive this kind of email a lot: “Please help, Kat. I have a rotation but I really want this man. None of these other men compares. I must have him. I want him to know me better and I want to know him better.”

Or “I know he’s married but I really want to be with him.”

Or “I know he’s not ready because he’s just out of a divorce but I am so attracted to him and I’ve never felt this way about any man in my life before.”

And I usually respond with “You know what the facts are and yet you still set yourself to heartache by choosing a harder path by clinging to an elusive man. Why?”

Yes, ask yourself why, seriously. (Be a high value woman by embracing these 7 traits)

Wanting what you can’t have is ignorance. Doing things that make you unhappy -that aren’t easy for you (apart from going to the gym)- is ignorance. This is a path filled with resistance. Resistance is misery. Ignorance leads to misery.

Where does this ignorance come from?

False view or belief. It’s the view that someone can fulfill your dreams and desire and they’re the one-way ticket to bliss. It’s the belief that when you get validated by your object of obsession’s approval, everything will be right in the universe. Right now, the universe isn’t quite right yet but it will be once you get him.

And of course the very mindset is why the universe is never quite right. Even by sheer chance that you succeed in getting him, you will soon find things about him that are very upsetting to you because he’s still the fountain of your emotional well-being. You are projecting your ideas and fantasy of a holy grail of a relationship on a mere mortal. How many couples divorce after a passionate love affair in the beginning? And didn’t you just divorce your ex yourself?

Newness doesn’t make him “IT.” Newness is why you can’t see beyond now other than the projection of your craving mind. The craving is the problem. Like a sugar rush, it’s very comforting to indulge in it for a while till you crash. And this man will eventually disappoint you as well like other men before him.

So you are creating this misery yourself. A lot of these issues aren’t really issues had you been wise enough to let go when the “going gets tough.” Or it would never get tough to begin with had you been hanging on loosely. Instead you keep investing, keep obsessing, keep projecting and you are sucked in deeper and deeper in the melodrama your craving mind creates.

You’re playing out the movie you create in your head because you are unconscious.

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